Monday, April 9, 2012

Happy Easter!

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When Christ your life appears, then you too will appear with him in glory.  - Col. 3:4

Hallelujah!  He is risen indeed!  Celebrating with our families yesterday was as fun as it always is, as well as another addition to my new life as a sharer of holidays.  Back when Andrew and I were dating, we came to each other's family birthday celebrations and casual get togethers without a hitch, but when we got engaged, the all-important question of whom we'd spend the big days with became a major part of our relationship.  Whose family did we visit with last?  Would anyone's feelings be hurt (I've discovered that moms, especially, value consistency and lots of quality time, with good reason)?  Was it worth it to drive around to two celebrations in one day?  Add in the fact that lots of couples, including us, have to travel from a significant distance away, and you've got yourself a pickle.  A big, crunchy, newlywed (or soon-to-be-wed) pickle.

If I've learned anything from finagling holiday plans for the last few years, it's how important it is to talk to each other.  I know that sounds like a huge cliche, like the kind of "communication is power" thing you find in old hippie marriage advice books, but it really is true.  I've learned that if you haven't talked ahead of time about when you're leaving one gathering to head to the next, it can be hurtful when you seemingly rush your beloved out the door.  I've learned how it's okay to be honest about your family's priorities- if it's a tradition for everyone to add a petition or bit of thanksgiving during grace, for instance, or if your grandpa always cuts and serves the first piece of pie, then by all means, let each other know.  That way, you can plan your arrivals and departures accordingly.  I've learned that if your plans are flexible, it's a good thing to be decisive, rather than telling each other, "oh, whatever you want" over and over.  Most of all, this whole business of shuffling family time during holidays is slowly teaching me how to value my loud, hilarious, slightly inappropriate, completely lovable relatives, rather than take my time with them for granted.  Yes, that is also a cliche.  Just like my other cliche, though, it speaks the truth.

Believe me, just like you, I'm on a learning curve with all this.  Family is important.  Tradition and celebration are important.  I know that.  It's getting it all in order that's the tricky part.  But, I figure, the sooner and better I get at doing that, the happier my holidays will be.  Now's as good a time as ever to learn how to communicate, sacrifice, and be present.

Next up: O praise Him.
How do you share your holidays?

1 comment:

  1. Our first round of sharing holidays has definitely be difficult! You are very right - it is a good time for us to strengthen our communication with each other.



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