Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Inspired: Underneath Your Clothes

{wedding candy}

Remember my honeymoon essentials post from a few months ago?  It featured a pretty lace bra and underwear set, and as I collected images for the post, I came across plenty of other pieces worth sharing.  Behold, here, the products of my internet wanderings.


1 and 4, Rikshaw Designs.  2, 5, 12, & 13, Anthropologie.  3, J. Crew.  6, 7, & 9, Topshop.  8, 10, & 11, Aerie.
To be honest, I wasn't really interested in lingerie before I got married.  I'd heard of lingerie-specific parties for the bride that sounded impossibly awkward, and asked my bridesmaids to just politely let shower guests know that I wouldn't prefer to receive any. Mostly I just wanted to avoid being embarrassed, but I think I also had this idea in my head that I'd be buying into the culture, and its seeming insistence that women look and act like Victoria's Secret models, if I set foot anywhere near something lacy.

In the past few years, though, my attitude has actually changed.  I realized I was failing to separate the culture's idea of beauty in the bedroom from that same beauty as it really is and should be.  It wasn't what a woman wore that was the problem; it was the messages of objectification and naughtiness that I'd been encouraged to believe about it, and I realized that with purity there can be freedom from so many of those lies.  Plus, I discovered there are plenty of classy, pretty choices available, a far cry from the costumey nightmares some brides receive.  Back in December, I wrote about beauty and sensuality in a way I don't think I can reword better, so here it is again, a little summing up of my attitude towards the way a woman can (and in my opinion, should) present herself to her husband with love:


When I was younger, I remember being so surprised by the Song of Songs' overt sensuality, as well as by the idea that lines like "Your hair is like a flock of goats!" were considered turn-ons.  Now, though, having been graced with a deeper, much more integrated view of sexuality, I see nothing but purity in these lovers' passion.  As human persons, we are more special than we could ever fathom: no other being on earth is made in God's image and likeness, as a body and soul.  And as women, we're the crown of creation.  Our bodies express who we are and express the love between man and wife in such a visible way, so what I've come to realize is that sensuality, in the literal context of having to do with the senses, is such a beautiful thing.  Sensuality, eroticism, and sex itself...these goods have been so twisted by the world, but when they're untwisted and placed squarely back where they belong, in light of nuptial love, they're nothing but good, pure, and holy.

You totally wanted to read about my undies today, I'm sure.  The reason I brought this up is that I think there's a possibility, particularly in Catholic circles, to turn lingerie into a moral issue, probably because of the negative messages out there that had me confused for a while.  I'd humbly argue that it's not an issue of morality, but of preference, love, and femininity.  I think adorning your body can be a beautiful (though certainly not necessary, if it's not your thing) invitation to be gazed upon with love, not just in the physical sense, but in the sense of truly being seen.

What do you think?  I realize, like I said, there's some debate about this, and I'd love to hear your thoughts!



12 comments:

  1. My friends and I have talked about this a lot. It turned out that our discomfort with it was actually with stores and how they sold it. Many of us don't or stopped supporting Victoria's Secret because of the "in your face" manner of advertising at the mall for all to see--which in my opinion, makes it unsexy-- but I think lingerie in general for your husband is just another good/privelege of marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree...I am tired of/offended by VS's overt idea of what is sexy and their advertising...but I have always been intrigued and smitten with beautiful lingerie. My only problem right now is I can't seem to find items that are not 100% see-through. Can't a girl ease into that?! As I semi-jokingly tell my fiance, "Maybe in year 2 of our marriage."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! There really is some beautiful stuff out there!

      Delete
  3. Okay, so I'm saying this on a public forum -- I love lovely lingerie and love being able to justify purchasing them now. Also love Anthropologie's selections. They have some truly beautiful and feminine pieces. Also you ladies should look at Asos.com. I just recently wandered into their lingerie section and though some of it is major miss, there are quite a few lovely pieces and Asos is always have sales. Anyway, heads up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the recommendation, Martha!!

      Delete
  4. The gal who slathers on lipstick and smooshes her tootsies into heels but recoils at the thought of lingerie may have been taught more about "naughty bits" and less about Theology of the Body. If we celebrate the body with other beautiful items of clothing, why can these areas of our body not be graced as well? I recently went for a lingerie fitting for the first time, and simply from a practical standpoint, I am SO much more comfortable now! I'd done fittings at home with a measuring tape, but didn't realize that I was a whole cup size off. Ladies, go get comfortable!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen! I love how TOB reclaims sexuality for good. I've never had a fitting either, but I bet you're right that it makes a huge difference!

      Delete
  5. Those pieces are beautiful! I also love BHLDN, Anthro's bridal line. I got a cute wedding hairpiece from there for my reception. They seem to always have a great sale section, including lingerie.

    When I think about my wedding night coming up in a few months and get nervous, I try and think about the fact that we will be reunited to our bodies in a special way one day in heaven. We were created by God and God called his creation of Man "very good". The human body is a beautiful thing, whether or not we realize it. So if lingerie just makes you feel that much more pretty and your husband enjoys it, then why not? Also, if your husband truly loves you, he thinks that you're truly beautiful and I imagine does not want to objectify you. I say this now as an unmarried woman, so maybe it's easier said than done. =D I'm sure I will be nervous when that time comes, but that's only natural, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BHLDN does have so many pretty things! Thanks! I think you're absolutely right that real love isn't about objectification, and I love your thoughts about our resurrected bodies!

      Delete
  6. I was of the same mind set before I got married too...but know I realize its good for me to want to wear something pretty, romantic to make me feel good, but also for my husband too...

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...