Monday, March 19, 2012

Wholesome, Awesome, and Then Some: A Bachelorette To Remember

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If you're reading this, I'm sure you already don't want a bachelorette party the likes of which the world and Cosmopolitan have to offer.  I've always been so turned off to the idea that your freedom ends when you tie the knot and that you have to make the most being a single lady as it ticks away.  The world seems to see marriage as kind of a passage into adulthood that equals less partying and spontaneity and more boredom, to which I say, hey world.  If you think people still need to party and hook up years after college, there's something seriously wrong with the way you see maturity.  If you think everyone needs to live it up by doing all the irresponsible things they want before they responsibly settle down, are these the kind of people who are prepared to settle down in the first place?  Come on you guys, buck up.  Marriage should be something you can't wait for, not something that will soon burden and choke you.

Oh mercy.  I swore I'd never become a blogger who rants.  I'll just say one more thing.  I love watching The Office and I adore Mindy Kaling, the actress who plays Kelly and is also one of the show's writers.  She just wrote a hilarious book called Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? that includes her thoughts on marriage.  Here's what she has to say:

I don't want to hear about the endless struggles...or the work it takes to plan a date night.  I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame...or that you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.  I want to her about it because I know it's possible, and because I want it for myself.  Married people, it's up to you.  Please be psyched, and convey that psychedness to us.

There.  From a totally wise, funny, secular source, comes the same feelings about marriage that you and I most likely share.  It's not the end of your life as a young person, just a new part of it that expands, rather than shrinks, your world.  And, though the world might not see it, true love really is all about authentic freedom- the humbling opportunity to willingly put yourself aside, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, for another's sake.  Beautiful.

That being said, how can you celebrate your wedding week with your girlfriends in a good, clean, not lame way?  I didn't feel like getting married meant it was time to get any crazy impulses out or that my friendships were over as I knew them, but I'll admit I was concerned about what it would be like to balance having a husband and having best girl friends, especially those who were still single.  I knew my time soon wouldn't belong to just me anymore, and that it'd be demanded in new (but good) ways.  I did feel a sense of finality with certain things, like, "this is my last sleepover" and "this might be the last time my sister and I stay up late baking and watching Disney movies."  That's a thought for another time, but for now, I'll say this:  be not afraid.  True friendships are able to weather change, and a loving husband is a man who's the furthest thing from possessive.  In the meantime, check out these inspired bachelorette celebrations (obviously, you won't be planning your own night on the town--I hope not, at least--so, bridesmaids, if you're reading this, take note!):
  • Most areas have at least one local winery.  Visit on a night they're hosting an event, or if you want something more intimate, schedule a private tasting session.  This is a totally classy way to toast you and your marriage.
  • Celebrate and trim down your to-do list: stop by a bead bar, where you can choose and design gorgeous baubles to wear on your wedding day.  Shops like these have super friendly, knowledgeable staff who can help you imagine and then make the exact bridal and bridesmaid jewelry you've been dreaming of. 
  • Do you have a bucket list?  Maybe you've always wanted to go to the beach in the winter, get lost on purpose, or smile it up in a photo booth.  Devote a day to checking off a few of the biggest and best items on that sucker, and end it with a nice dinner.
  • Take advantage of deals from sites like Groupon and Living Social, which offer fun things to do in your area at a discount, and attend a class or lesson together.  Rock climbing?  Hip-hop dance?  Making sushi?  Oh yes please.
  • Almost every girl loves a makeover.  She loves them even more when they're free.  Drop in to a department store or beauty shop like Ulta or Sephora (call ahead if you have a bigger group), get prettied up, and the night is yours.  Paint the town for drinks and dinner, or just go home and throw a last hurrah sleepover with the works.
You classy, sassy ladies.  Whatever you decide, it's so nice to take a few minutes to pray together at the end of your soiree.  Give thanks for your friendships and ask the Lord to bless your marriage.  All glory be!

Next up: A plethora of prayers and a song about sweet, exuberant love.



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